According to a Beatles song; “Love is All You Need.” When I was a much younger man, I used to think that way. I mean I grew up in an era of “happily ever after” mentality so I believed that when you fell in love with someone life would be rosy and you would spend all your time holding hands and basically being connected at the hip. There was no such thing as spending too much time together. You’d spend hours together and then talk on the phone for hours afterwards. I thought that was what a relationship was.
Over the ensuing years during which I had many “relationships” that belief was altered dramatically. Things weren’t always perfect or rosy. The other person didn’t always agree with you or want to do what you wanted to do, or worse yet, didn’t want to spend every wakened moment with you. This is not right I thought. If someone loves you they’re supposed to agree with you and want to go where you want to go and do what you want to do and be with you all the time.
Then I became aware of what a true relationship is. Yes, it is about love. Love is what brings you together initially. But it is also about liking yourself because if you aren’t okay with you who you are, you’ll have a hard time being okay with anyone else. It is also about liking the other person. I have people in my life whom I love, but I don’t like the person they are. I have also learned that a true relationship is one in which there is mutual respect, interest in the things that the other person is interested or involved in. It’s about checking your ego at the door and learning to compromise. It’s about being open and true and willing to discuss issues or situations even when it may feel uncomfortable or unpleasant doing so. It’s about being okay with the silence. It’s about giving the other person their own time and space when they need it. It’s about giving them “extra grace” or a “do over” if they miss the mark occasionally. It’s about being patient and tolerant. It’s about offering to help and not being offended when they refuse it. It’s about knowing when they need a hug or you to hold their hand. It’s about knowing they had a past before they met you, but that it does not define who they are now. I am so grateful that my level of awareness of what a healthy, loving relationship is has been raised to what it is today.
If you would like to improve your life in the area of your love and relationships, I can help you. Contact me to schedule a free consultation and I will tell you how I raised my level of awareness and how you can also.
Namaste,
Rich
941-276-1123